In America, as in Britain, when something electrical breaks down one has to spend inerminable hours on the phone, listening to pre-recorded messages, pressing various random buttons and finally, maybe, managing to get through to someone who inevtably will not be able to help you.
Out here, it is common to buy packages for your TV, phone and internet from one provider. Only one number to call, yes, but when one thing breaks down, chances are the other two will as well.
The cable box that sits under our brand new, shiny TV, has been on the blink for days. Today, I finally got round to calling the company. Cue interminable button pressing. Only in America, it turns out there are different issues at stake.
1) When you finally get through to them, they can't understand your accent. Which means you have to speak V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y. Which makes the whole phone call take twice as long.
2) Whereas in England you're likely to be speaking to someone either based in India, or in the darker reaches of outer Birmingham, here you do at least get to speak to an American. Although this means the whole conversation has that added spice of American positivity. So even though you are patently not having a good day, because your TV has stopped working and so you can't watch the re-run of Dallas on channel 305 that you had been so excited about, you have to put up with all the false cheer and bonhomie.
3) Americans are not very good with silence, which means that despite the fact that there are lengthy pauses in the conversation, where you wait for the result of the unplugging and re-plugging scenario to kick in, they feel they have to fill them. "Why do you keep say 'Okay'?" I asked the woman on the end of the phone, after she had made the utterance for about the fifth time. She muttered something about wanting to know what was happening. What's wrong with waiting for me to tell you?
On the positive side, I now have a specific appointment where someone will turn up to fix my TV, on Friday, between 11am and 2pm. What's more, they will call to tell me when they're on their way. Beats sitting at home from 7am to 7pm, as some British companies expect you to do. Just means I'll have to put off my channel 305 watching for a few more days. Sigh.