My cousin-in-law Adele (whose blog, Circus Queen, circusqueen.co.uk is really excellent btw), commented that it must be hard to leave the place where your child is born. The more I think about it, the more I think she is right. With the birth of our son, America really has become home, and leaving it will be hard.
I arrived here very definitely a Brit, with set ideas about what was good and bad (mostly, I have to confess, Britain=good, America=bad). I'm pleased to say I've chilled out a lot since then. Last night we watched a British film about a group of Muslims in Sheffield, called Four Lions. It was supposed to be a comedy (I think), but was a bit too close to the bone for comfort. The whole thing made me feel depressed, from the issues it was raising, to the gloomy weather and run-down streets in the background.
I used to laugh at American patriotism, with its gung-ho, we're-the-best-in-the-world enthusiasm. I still find it slightly uncomfortable, but at least here, the majority of citizens are genuinely enthusiastic about their country, no matter where they have come from. Even if they still identify as Greek or Italian or whatever, they are also Americans, and while they might hold on to many of the customs and traditions of their original homeland, they love America. I have a friend from Korea who recently became an American citizen and she was fervent in her gratefulness to America as a country - for what it offered her and for what it had, in effect, done for her. The film I was watching last night followed a group of Muslim Britons whose only desire seemed to be to blow up somewhere in Britain and cause havoc.
I found myself becoming more fervently British when I first got here, as I know many ex-pats do - suddenly you see Britain with rose-tinted glasses and fondly remember all its good points, while forgetting the bad. But now that we are actually going back, my enthusiasm for returning is waning. Perhaps it's the recent riots, perhaps it's the many tensions that seem to exist in the country at the moment, but I am almost dreading living there again. I'm sure that once I'm home I will slip back into my old life (with a few adjustments) fairly easily. But my attitude towards America has definitely changed, and I can see myself living here again. Not forever, I don't think - I am still too much of a Brit at heart (and couldn't cope with the healthcare system), but for a while, somewhere. Maybe when Baby A is 21 and we become eligible for a greencard we could all move out here for a stint. After all, I am the parent of an American citizen now!
Friday 19 August 2011
Thursday 18 August 2011
Some ponderings
I realise that my last post was all about feeling guilty for not having updated my blog for so long... and that was in March. It's now August and clearly, I have been remiss. A fact pointed out to me by my dear uncle who asked if we could have a few more blogs. So here I am again. Hopefully not having put anyone off by being silent for so long.
A lot has happened since my last post. I've had a baby for a start. And, in reply to Anonymous who seemed to think it was a bad idea to be having a baby out here, yes, my baby is American. Which I think is a fantastic thing! First of all, he actually gets dual citizenship (two passports: very useful), which means he's a Brit as well. He also automatically has a social security number and an official presence in this country, which means should he ever wish to study or work here, it will be very straightforward for him (it ain't easy being a foreigner in the States when it comes to official recognition). The Major and I both feel we've given him a great start in life by conferring Anglo-American status on him - who knows what sort of state America will be in in 20 years time, but if it's anything like it is now we would be entirely happy for him to head over here to university or to work afterwards. So hurrah to American citizenship!
The same blogger also suggested that American hospitals are very dirty. Well no, they're not actually. In fact, from what I've heard, they're more like five-star hotels than hospitals. And you get pretty good care.
That said, I actually chose not to have my baby in a hospital. They're pretty hands-on when it comes to birth out here, and quite hot on massive amounts of intervention, which I wasn't so keen on the idea of. I wanted my baby to arrive naturally, when he fancied, and preferably without large amounts of drugs in my system. So I sought out a midwife, and found an excellent lady, very practical and peaceful, who was fantastic. In fact Baby A turned out to be breech, which means had I chose to have him in the hospital system I almost certainly would have had to have a caesarean. Fortunately for me, my midwife has had a lot of experience with breech delivery, and was enormously encouraging and confident in my ability to do it naturally at home. He arrived on his due date, feet first, at home. I was standing up with my arms around the Major's neck, roaring like a lion (he said afterwards he thought he had probably been in more pain than I was at that point. Luckily he didn't say this at the time). By 10pm we were all three of us tucked up peacefully in bed together. It was lovely. And I don't think I would actually have had anything like as good a birth in England. I love the fact that you can get a home birth on the NHS, but because home birth here is so against the norm, the people practising it are really dedicated to what they are doing - determined that the mothers in their care should have a wonderful experience. And I did - it was an absolutely fantastic way to give birth and I'd do it again like a shot.
In reply to another commentator - Janet - yes, Kansas. My earlier posts explain that my husband has been posted here for his job, so it wasn't exactly that I chose Kansas. But we have had a fantastic time out here - the people are, as you rightly say, enormously kind and nice and we have loved our experience.
In fact, as I write, I am feeling a strange sort of sadness. Because our time here is actually drawing to a close, and earlier than expected. We were due to stay here until December, but the Major unfortunately has to go to Afghanistan when we leave here and they want him out at the end of November, which means we have to return in October. It is strange and sad to think of leaving our adopted homeland. I'm not entirely sure when my feelings about Kansas changed. I came out here prepared to hate it - and did find it all very strange for the first few months (even now). The slower pace of life, the sometimes amazing ignorance etc etc. But gradually, it has crept up on me that there are many things I enjoy: the space, the friendliness, even the slower pace of life. And of course, it is my son's new homeland....
A lot has happened since my last post. I've had a baby for a start. And, in reply to Anonymous who seemed to think it was a bad idea to be having a baby out here, yes, my baby is American. Which I think is a fantastic thing! First of all, he actually gets dual citizenship (two passports: very useful), which means he's a Brit as well. He also automatically has a social security number and an official presence in this country, which means should he ever wish to study or work here, it will be very straightforward for him (it ain't easy being a foreigner in the States when it comes to official recognition). The Major and I both feel we've given him a great start in life by conferring Anglo-American status on him - who knows what sort of state America will be in in 20 years time, but if it's anything like it is now we would be entirely happy for him to head over here to university or to work afterwards. So hurrah to American citizenship!
The same blogger also suggested that American hospitals are very dirty. Well no, they're not actually. In fact, from what I've heard, they're more like five-star hotels than hospitals. And you get pretty good care.
That said, I actually chose not to have my baby in a hospital. They're pretty hands-on when it comes to birth out here, and quite hot on massive amounts of intervention, which I wasn't so keen on the idea of. I wanted my baby to arrive naturally, when he fancied, and preferably without large amounts of drugs in my system. So I sought out a midwife, and found an excellent lady, very practical and peaceful, who was fantastic. In fact Baby A turned out to be breech, which means had I chose to have him in the hospital system I almost certainly would have had to have a caesarean. Fortunately for me, my midwife has had a lot of experience with breech delivery, and was enormously encouraging and confident in my ability to do it naturally at home. He arrived on his due date, feet first, at home. I was standing up with my arms around the Major's neck, roaring like a lion (he said afterwards he thought he had probably been in more pain than I was at that point. Luckily he didn't say this at the time). By 10pm we were all three of us tucked up peacefully in bed together. It was lovely. And I don't think I would actually have had anything like as good a birth in England. I love the fact that you can get a home birth on the NHS, but because home birth here is so against the norm, the people practising it are really dedicated to what they are doing - determined that the mothers in their care should have a wonderful experience. And I did - it was an absolutely fantastic way to give birth and I'd do it again like a shot.
In reply to another commentator - Janet - yes, Kansas. My earlier posts explain that my husband has been posted here for his job, so it wasn't exactly that I chose Kansas. But we have had a fantastic time out here - the people are, as you rightly say, enormously kind and nice and we have loved our experience.
In fact, as I write, I am feeling a strange sort of sadness. Because our time here is actually drawing to a close, and earlier than expected. We were due to stay here until December, but the Major unfortunately has to go to Afghanistan when we leave here and they want him out at the end of November, which means we have to return in October. It is strange and sad to think of leaving our adopted homeland. I'm not entirely sure when my feelings about Kansas changed. I came out here prepared to hate it - and did find it all very strange for the first few months (even now). The slower pace of life, the sometimes amazing ignorance etc etc. But gradually, it has crept up on me that there are many things I enjoy: the space, the friendliness, even the slower pace of life. And of course, it is my son's new homeland....
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