On being American versus being a Brit

My cousin-in-law Adele (whose blog, Circus Queen, circusqueen.co.uk is really excellent btw), commented that it must be hard to leave the place where your child is born. The more I think about it, the more I think she is right. With the birth of our son, America really has become home, and leaving it will be hard.

I arrived here very definitely a Brit, with set ideas about what was good and bad (mostly, I have to confess, Britain=good, America=bad). I'm pleased to say I've chilled out a lot since then. Last night we watched a British film about a group of Muslims in Sheffield, called Four Lions. It was supposed to be a comedy (I think), but was a bit too close to the bone for comfort. The whole thing made me feel depressed, from the issues it was raising, to the gloomy weather and run-down streets in the background.

I used to laugh at American patriotism, with its gung-ho, we're-the-best-in-the-world enthusiasm. I still find it slightly uncomfortable, but at least here, the majority of citizens are genuinely enthusiastic about their country, no matter where they have come from. Even if they still identify as Greek or Italian or whatever, they are also Americans, and while they might hold on to many of the customs and traditions of their original homeland, they love America. I have a friend from Korea who recently became an American citizen and she was fervent in her gratefulness to America as a country - for what it offered her and for what it had, in effect, done for her. The film I was watching last night followed a group of Muslim Britons whose only desire seemed to be to blow up somewhere in Britain and cause havoc.

I found myself becoming more fervently British when I first got here, as I know many ex-pats do - suddenly you see Britain with rose-tinted glasses and fondly remember all its good points, while forgetting the bad. But now that we are actually going back, my enthusiasm for returning is waning. Perhaps it's the recent riots, perhaps it's the many tensions that seem to exist in the country at the moment, but I am almost dreading living there again. I'm sure that once I'm home I will slip back into my old life (with a few adjustments) fairly easily. But my attitude towards America has definitely changed, and I can see myself living here again. Not forever, I don't think - I am still too much of a Brit at heart (and couldn't cope with the healthcare system), but for a while, somewhere. Maybe when Baby A is 21 and we become eligible for a greencard we could all move out here for a stint. After all, I am the parent of an American citizen now!