I've just realised this is a title bar...

...which is brilliant. Seriously I am the most analogue person ever. I really want a iphone, but know that if I had one, I'd never get round to actually putting more than about 10 songs on it, and would mostly use it to text and phone, just like I currently use my crappy, piece of plastic American phone which doesn't even have a camera on it.

I realised that I never wrote about a day last week where I was so ridiculously monstrously hungover that I didn't get dressed until 5.30pm. I just lay on the sofa all day, groaning quietly. Me and the Major, groaning together. He actually got up at 7am, showered, shaved, dressed and was just about to leave the house when he had to double back and be sick. It was horrible. I haven't felt that bad for years.

We'd been to a cocktail party at the Major's place of employment. I was expecting it to be grim, and for me to have to do Wife behaviour, and consequently drank far too large an amount of Pimms Number 1 (or whatever the vodka one is), on an empty stomach, while also shunning the canapes. A foolish mistake. The end of the cocktail party saw me making wisecracks to the Major's boss (moderately bad idea); the end of the evening had me doing karaoke, barely able to stand up, in front of 200 people in the High Noon Saloon (terrible idea, although also retrospectively makes me feel strangely cool and want to laugh). We left shortly afterwards. I went to sleep with one eye open, because to close both eyes made me feel as if I was about to vomit.

Obviously this post would have had more impact if I had written it actually in the throes of the hangover. But I wanted to mark the occasion a) to prove that, even though I am now a Wife, I can still have "fun" and b) to use it as an opportunity to talk about the evils of American alcohol. Seriously, they put some weird shit into the booze here. The beer all has strange preservatives in it, as does the wine, which is also so sweet (unless you fork out upwards of $15 for a bottle of something imported) that is gives you a major sugar high. All of which means terrible hangovers.

Sp I'm blaming it on the booze. Just for a change. Although I reckon if I'd had an iphone I would have been able to post photos of the night on this site. Yeah right, whatever.