Ok, so I'm not in Kansas yet, but in the meantime I want to keep my hand in, so you'll just have to put up with some inane mutterings until then. I'll try and keep it vaguely America-related.

That said, however, today I'm going off-message to get something off my chest, and that something is Twitter. For those of you who have been living in a hole for the past few years, Twitter is, according to the ever-accurate Wikipedia, a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read messages known as "tweets". In March, the Nielson.com blog ranked Twitter as the fastest-growing site in its Member Communities category, with a monthly growth of 1,382 percent.

I'm ashamed to say I probably added to that percentage increase. Ashamed because Twitter really, really annoys me. I joined because I felt that, as a hopefully cutting-edge journalist up to date with the latest methods for getting my opinion out there, I should do so. However, as I am clearly analogue, when it comes to technology (as evidenced by the fact that I have only just started this blog), I just can't get to grips with Twitter. Every so often I log onto the site, in the hope that I might learn something useful - but no, the other 54, 376 followers of Stephen Fry received his erudite words of wisdom at exactly the same time I did. Moreover, despite trying to link it to my phone, I never know when people are tweeting, apart from when I log onto the site. And for goodness sake, it's bad enough trying to be witty and interesting using a blog, let alone when you're limited to 140 characters. The amount of crap that people come out with - "I'm off to the shops", for example - I mean, who cares? I have 25 followers on Twitter, apparently, which is 25 people who are going to be very disappointed that they decided to do so, seeing as my last entry was three months ago.

I know that this blog entry will probably come back to bite me, as the last time I was this anti-technology was when Facebook kicked off a few years ago - and I am now a devoted aficionado. That said, however, I do try and refrain from informing people of my every movement. Stephen Fry, take note...