Oh so much to write in the last week! I feel dreadful for not recording everything as I have experienced it. My rather pathetic excuse is that everything has gone by in a whirl.

Following on from my last post, we made it to Washington, finally, and proceeded to head out for dinner with a friend. Well, my observation that all Americans were uber-friendly was swiftly dashed when we met one of the most unhelpful people I have ever encountered at the metro station. Not having used the metro before, we were both (my husband, the Major, and I) regarding the ticket machine like aliens from another planet, trying to work out exactly where to put our money in. Upon asking the man at the information desk how to get to Friendship Heights, he simply pointed at a handwritten sign. "The red line" he intoned impatiently.
"I'm sorry, I've never used the metro before, and I don't know what to do."
"The red line!" - this more impatiently.
"But I don't..."
Luckily help was at hand in the form of a nice lady who took pity on us, and proceeded to actually buy our tickets for us. Perhaps the majority of Americans are friendly after all.

The next day, after a briefing at the British Embassy (the Major is extremely important, natch), we took a little trip to the White House. Which was beautiful, in the snow, but remarkably small. Most surprising. Not quite as surprising as the police cars parked next to it, however. "United States Secret Service" they said on the side. Extremely secret, then.



Finally, on Monday evening, we flew out to Kansas. My first impressions of the natives - i.e. the other passengers on the plane - did not exactly fill me with confidence. Overweight, dreadful haircuts, high waisted blue jeans, sparkly white trainers. It was like stepping into a Wham video, but with less attractive characters. I'm a bitch I know, but that's how it was. It was a relief to finally get off the plane, three hours later (for some reason, the pilot was trying to get the air hostess to do the chicken dance - luckily she refused) and be collected by friends, who presented an oasis of normality in the maelstrom of foreign-ness.

Waking up the next morning (we're on to Tuesday now) was another matter. "For better, for worse" was the phrase running most clearly through my head. Wouldn't it be yours, when faced with a suburban scene straight out of Desperate Housewives, only with fewer white picket fences and hot gardeners? I donned my trainers and went for a run, which put me in a better mood. I saw deer leaping across the fields, and the trees reminded me of England. It was only when I got back that I was informed it was probably best not to walk or run in the fields out here - unless I wanted to be shot by a redneck farmer.

Luckily, Kansas City itself was something of a sophisticated relief. Having stocked up on Arm & Hammer toothpaste, Laura Mercier makeup and Marks & Spencers cardis (I was envisaging something like Stalinist Russia, I think) it was a joy to behold a Mac makeup store, Apple shop, Barnes & Noble bookshop and numerous others. I embarked upon spending the Major's money with glee.

All else - Christmas (major blizzard - for details, see the BBC website), Boxing Day (walk in the deep snow) and the rest I won't go into. Suffice to say there was much eating and drinking all round - so fairly standard. I'll endeavour to keep you all updated more regularly, so as to avoid having to wade through paragraphs of boredom. Next up - a road trip!